Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster. I felt angry, mostly, but also concerned for my daughter and scared and sad and frustrated and angry all over again.
I was awoken yesterday morning by the phone ringing; it was my eldest daughter. Her book, “Am I Not” had been taken off the publishing house, Lulu, website and was no longer available for purchase. This was due to complaints made by Jason and his wife about privacy violations to them because this book is written about the abuse that Em suffered as a child. They insist the book is a lie and that their family’s privacy is being violated. If they had actually read the book, they would know that Jason’s name had been changed in the book and his wife is barely mentioned, certainly not by name. This is Em’s story, the book is about her, not them.
I was furious when she told me this. How could Lulu remove her book when they had been removing Jason’s reviews from the page for inappropriate content? Why were they not banned from the site? How is removing Em’s book and essentially giving her abuser power over her right and fair?
A campaign then ensued and is still going on to have Lulu re-instate the book. In the meantime, Facebook has been a buzz of comments and posts about this unjust situation; no one has the right to bully or harass someone just because you don’t like what they are saying. Just because you don’t want to believe what you are being told does not make their words lies.
Jason has bullied and harassed my family for nearly ten years. He has been allowed to continue to abuse us through the courts, financially because he is never penalized for child support arrears and emotionally through these sorts of tactics.
We escaped from Jason in July of 2004. Since then he has used the courts to attempt to force the children to see him, accused me of parental alienation, forced us into a Family Assessment that took three years to complete and then amounted to a recommendation that I have sole custody of the children and there was no evidence of parental alienation. The report suggested that Jason get counselling and stop being angry at me and move on. It also stated that he was not currently a danger to the children and that they should enter a re-integration process to rebuild a relationship with their father. This suggestion brought us back to court and another eighteen months of battle and more legal fees; Jason wanted all the control in how this process would be carried out and in the end, he got what he wanted. I ran out of money and my lawyer at the time was tired of the fight. Jason insisted on using Doug Mattocks at the Rose Garden; the children had a history with this man and that agency. They did not trust Doug and so the process was doomed from the start and it went nowhere. Of course, this led us back to court with Jason suing for custody of the children.
This time I had legal aid and a fantastic lawyer who knew the law and was not afraid of Jason and his tactics. Alex Fergusson does a lot of work for clients of Interval House; Jason was nothing new. His words: “I have seen worse douchebags than your ex. Bring it on.” I loved this guy! In the end, the courts told Jason that he was too late; he could not force his teenage children to see him. He could not have custody. His failed relationship with his children was due to his own behaviour and it was up to him to fix it. The courts were not the way to go about it. If Jason’s kids are not talking to him, that is his fault, the judge said, it is ALWAYS the fault of the parent. The judge also suggested that using the courts to force his children to do something they don’t want to do and not being on time with support or withholding funds is not a productive way to build a positive relationship; it does not demonstrate that he has changed. Of, course Jason was very unhappy about this outcome and blamed me for the way the judge dismissed him. Somehow, I had gotten to the judge and swayed his position.
Oh yes, I am a mastermind at manipulation. According to Jason I have snowed the Children’s Aid, countless counsellors and even the police. Not to mention doctors, lawyers and court officials. I have somehow bribed them all into helping me to destroy Jason and keep his kids from him.
All of this came back to me when my daughter told her about her book being taken off the publishing website. Jason was once again making threats of legal action to get his way. He was once again given power over my daughter to continue to try to silence her and keep her in check. What he does not understand is that she will not be silenced and neither will I. Her book is her story and she has a right to tell it. And she is.
Her book is now available for Kindle and Kobo. The copies that have already been sold from Lulu are still in circulation and frankly, Jason’s tactics have only increased interest in this book. The truth is out, in black and white.
madaboutjason 